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Back in November, I had the opportunity to speak to students in the Masters in Philanthropic Studies program at the Centre for Philanthropy within the University of Kent. The group was in the middle of Ethics Week during their Advising Donors course, reflecting on the question of neutrality in philanthropic advising. For instance, should advisers and clients discuss the origins of their money? They were curious to know why Ktisis takes a values-led approach and its ramifications in working with progressive donors.
In philanthropy, often the things we don’t talk about are the most important. That’s why part of my approach to philanthropic organizing is to speak with vulnerable honesty on topics that often go unacknowledged or unaddressed. I believe sharing my story is an invitation for you to share yours. We all have so much to share but when conversations stay in polite abstracted neutral territory, we miss the chance to wrestle with the complexities that drive truly effective giving.
Here are reflections from a few questions I was asked in that class:
How do you begin talking with a prospective family about your values?
I’ve worked with so many amazing individual progressive advisers, but part of what drove me to found Ktisis was seeing how many philanthropic advising firms operate to varying degrees in values-neutral ways. Some have a guiding set of principles or a reputation of being center-left or center-right, but when you get into the details, there is a level of neutrality apparent in the clients they work with and a willingness to support each client on whatever they value, even if that means supporting different clients to give in ways that are in conflict with one another.
Ktisis takes an alternate route. We state from the outset that we are committed to racial, social, economic, and environmental justice. Leading with our values means we lose clients. But, thankfully, we have gained more clients because of it.
Early on in conversation with every prospective family and individual client, I make a point to weave into the conversation my belief that most wealthy families would be better off if they had less, that they would be less isolated by their wealth, live in a society that was more stable and robust, and enjoy the vibrancy of a community with less marginalization and want if there were a more equitable and fair economic distribution in the world.
I’ve found some real moments of breakthrough in these conversations. One conservative patriarch who runs a knowledge industry firm told me that he struggled to hire local employees with a high-level of education. I pointed out that it was because his local education system was broken as a result of tax cuts for the rich. He paused, and I watched the gears begin to turn, as he said, “That’s a fair point. I don’t want to pay more taxes, but that is a problem.” This didn’t lead to a revelatory political change of heart, but an opening to ongoing conversation even as I work with others in his family over the years. Moments like that and the ongoing conversation that ensued are what cause a person to move.
Would you work with a family who didn’t share your political beliefs?
Long-term change is built through sustainable relationships. We’d rather show up authentically at the outset of an engagement and determine if we’re aligned than dance around differences for months, or even years, to earn and maintain a contract. We’d rather be turned down if it’s not a fit and make space for someone who is a strong match for us, ready to make bold changes.
This became clear years ago when a friend I occasionally advised asked if I would consider working with the rest of their family who skew center-right. Even as I was looking for work to grow Ktisis, as I sat with this family I realized I couldn’t imagine spending my time moving resources to many of the groups they were considering nor could I imagine them being happy working with me. I had a very transparent conversation with them about where I came from, what I believed in, and where I would direct resources. I didn’t end up working with that family. It was a crystallizing moment for me to understand what I need to be happy and show up well in this work.
How do you sustain yourself in this work?
Leading with our values also means we’re exhausted. The world is heavy right now. We face multiple compounding crises, growing inequality, rising polarization and discrimination. When you choose to put your values at the center of your work and brand, it means you must constantly grapple with the challenges that come with those values.
This exhaustion is compounded by the fact that we’re answering questions that the world has never faced before (the climate crisis, America’s crumbling democracy, an AI and technological revolution, massive wealth inequality, a new era of global conflict, etc.). We are living in a time where no one has the answers.
To overcome decision paralysis, we need to grow comfortable with our educated guesses and experiments to light the way forward. Being frank about the exhaustion and uncertainty that comes with a values-driven approach does not dissuade folks from this work. Rather, it invites and gives us permission to navigate a never-before-seen landscape with a little more forgiveness and compassion. And we have to remember to pause, to get regrounded, to remember that if we burnout we won’t be able to carry on critical work and that self-care is actually a critical commitment to long-term leadership.
If we can be real about the challenges we face, we create space to try, fail, and try again to meaningfully address these issues without the burden of shame. Honesty allows us to accept where we are today, however imperfect that may be.
